


We were once a family

by LilyLane123



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: All ships besides Analogical are platonic, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Background Relationships, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Gross, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Found Family, Janus is tired of their shit, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Roman and Patton are mentioned, Sad, Short & Sweet, Song Lyrics, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Tags Are Hard, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyLane123/pseuds/LilyLane123
Summary: This is a one shot detailing the last time Virgil sees the Dark Side before he permanently transfers over to the Light Side. This takes place the same day as AA (accepting Anxiety). He goes through the Dark Side one last time and reminisces a shit ton. The song is She's Leaving Home by the Beatles
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	We were once a family

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to my sister @Jujus-island for being beta on this, even though she doesn't know a damn thing about TSS. My tumblr is @didyouseerichohisawrich so if you wanna come yell at me or send in requests, I might write those bad boys.

“Silently closing the bedroom door”

It had been months now since that first faithful Sanders Sides episode he was in. These months had exceeded every expectation he had for the Light sides, at least that’s what Jan had always called them. He had never expected to get this far with them, to make bonds so close with these beings he had always despised during his time as a dark side. Torment had been Virgil’s main fear ever since he first appeared on those stairs, and even though he had never gotten along perfectly with them all (let’s be real, Roman), he hadn’t felt uneasy near them in a long time. Especially after his debate with Logan, he began to feel like he truly belonged, he was one of them now. Hell, he had even surprised himself and told them his name! And scarily enough, he didn’t regret it! They truly were a family now. That only left one last thing to take care of: his old family.

“Leaving the note that she hoped would say more”

The light waned behind him as he shut the basement door and let out a sigh. He shuts his eyes and wipes his mouth in a vain attempt to try and placate the relaxed, love-filled smile that had the audacity to settle on his lips. As he descends the stairs, however, the settling realization that he would have to leave the dark sides permanently was enough to eradicate the joy that had found itself on his face. While they couldn’t provide everything, the dark sides hadn’t been inherently cruel to him, especially not Jan or Remus. Hell, Jan had been practically a mother to him, and Virgil was more of a brother to Remus than Roman could ever hope to be. None of this could make him deny just how warm it was upstairs, though. He couldn’t lie to himself and say that he wouldn’t miss arguing with Roman, that he wouldn’t miss Logan’s realism, or how caring Patton was. A lie of that caliber would surely wake up Jan. He sighs again and sends his room up to the light sides, ultimately marking his decision as final. He makes his final sweep as he looks around the dark side. Memories flood his skull like an untameable tempest. The nick in the wall where he had been roughhousing with Remus, the eyeliner stain on the carpet when he had been practicing for the first time, the webbings he had left there when he and Remus had first learnt how to swing around with their tentacles and spider legs, the Incident, the worn out couch that hosted a good deal of therapeutic cuddle sessions. No amount of upstairs light and warmth could make him forget all of the good times he had down here. Unfortunately, no surplus of memories, despite the warmth that they brought him, could coax him out of his desire to be up there. His decision had already been made.

In his mind, he finally allowed himself to acknowledge just how he felt towards Logan for the first time since their election. He finally took down his defenses and his mind was filled with the overwhelming realizations he had made since the first time he snuck onto the stair steps, a blush settling on his face. He couldn’t deny any longer just how..dare he say, cozy Logan made him felt. His realism was a comfort, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. He loved how Logan kept him calm and knew the signs of when he was getting nervous. Sure, he had been a bit rude when he said things like how “unproductive” too much anxiety was, but he was getting better. Instead of shunning Virgil for that, he had learned to start to listen to him and help him manage his anxiety. He pulled out a whiteboard and a whole Yurkes-Dodson curve for him, if that wasn’t a declaration that he cared for someone then Virgil didn’t know he could love. One way or another, Virgil couldn’t deny that he was head over heels for Logan whether or not those feelings were reciprocated. 

Quietly turning the backdoor key, stepping outside she is free

Leaning on the doorframe, he watches as an inky sea invellops his bedroom, transferring it upstairs. With a sigh, he wishes that it didn’t have to transfer in such a poetic way, as if that ink also washed away all of his future with the dark sides. With a deep breath, he shuts his door and leaves his hand on the knob until that too melts into the darkness and is replaced with the tacky striped wallpaper that adorned the rest of the lower floor. After a bit of contemplation and a bit lip, he tiptoes across the hall and silently opens the yellow-painted door in a very rehearsed motion. He takes one last good look of the room, the sophisticated bedchamber someone like Jan would favor. He’d been in this very position hundreds of times for many different reasons: to tattle on Remus, to ask for help cleaning up after he had been sick, for comfort after a panic attack. There was no doubt in his mind that Jan had been like a mother to him. He shuts the door and travels to the other side of the hall to the burnt and scratched door. It still had the old caution tape that Patton had put there when the two creativities were originally split. He manages to get the door open without making too much noise and holds his nose while looking in. Remus was sprawled in the middle of all of the mess and gore, snoring loudly. With a roll of his eyes, Virgil sweeps the room once more and can’t deny the pressing urge to commit even the most explicit of details to memory. This filth may be filth, but it’s familiar filth. Virgil remembers (to his chagrin) where that mysterious green stain on the ceiling came from, and he could recognize Remus’s room anywhere by that peculiar musk only this room could replicate. And who could forget the morning star? He had felt the brunt of that damned star so many times there might as well be a permanent imprint on his face. Suddenly, some dark and twisted feeling spread through Virgil and ripped a hole in his chest. He had the horrifying realization that he would actually miss this room, that star, that disgusting duke who was basically a brother to him. In a quick motion he pulls the door shut and speedwalks up the basement stairs, his eyes shut and his fists clenched tightly at his side. He was never going to make it out of here if he couldn’t buck up and force himself through that door. He gives the Dark side one last forlorn look and shuts the door behind him, shutting the streaming light in its path. And with him he takes all of the good memories, thus ending an era. 

She is leaving home 

Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown

It had been all too quiet, there was something terribly suspicious at foot in Jan’s eye. His eyes narrow as he glares up the stairs and stops Remus from sticking eyeballs in his oats in the same breath. There was no telltale tiptoe from above, no soft humming or grumbles over a misplaced hair brush. It seems as though they were seeing less and less of Virgil, but missing breakfast was a big nono and he knew that. It was a beacon of order in a place of pure chaos, and Jan was trying to keep them as civilized as he could, thank you very much. 

“You’re worrying over nothing J-anus, the emo’s fine. He’s probably just sleeping in again, or jacking it off to MCR again,” Remus choked out through a mouthful of casu marzu.

“For the last time, it’s just Janus. And he’s not masturbating, your mind just owns a significant amount of property in the gutters. As for my worrying, I feel justified in it. You know how dedicated he is to structure, it keeps him calm. I’m going to go and check on him,” he thrusts his spoon towards a smirking Remus as if to threaten him, eyes narrowed again. “I’m checking my grits when I come back down and if I find any eyeballs or organs of any variety, you’re scrubbing the bathroom. And I mean it this time”

Picks up the letter that’s lying there 

The halls watched and dared not billow a breath as Janus drifted briskly through their halls. A yellow gloved hand knocks sharply on the purple door, making sure not to knock on the single black painted bat in the center of the door. There’s a pause as Jan listens for any movement behind the door, a breath or any similar sign of life. He rolls his eyes after a few minutes of grade a silence and he knocks again, louder this time. 

“Virgil, get up please! You’ve had enough ssleep at this point, it’s nearly nine. If you’re not up soon, I’m letting Remus eat your pancakes. And lord knows what kinds of condimentsss he’s going to add to it.” He waits another second and sighs, finally giving up and heading back downstairs. He was feeling generous and would let him sleep in and save him pancakes. One less thing to make for lunch after all. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t worry (he’d secretly blamed it on the effects of Virgil’s room) though.

Standing alone at the top of the stairs

OK, enough was enough. At noon sharp Jan shoots up from his seat like he had fallen for one of Remus’s pranks and snaps his book closed with a snap. “That’s it, this whole situation is entirely too suspicious. There’s no way he would sleep in this long and not make some sort of noise, I haven’t heard him so much as breath since last night.” Remus rolls his eyes but even that is half hearted. He wasn’t one to be skeptical, that was Virgil’s job after all, but he had to admit that it was a little weird. He watches as Jan stalks up the stairs. The mother snake of the group raps loudly on the door. “Virgil Anxiety Fear Sssssssanders! It is 12:05 in the afternoon, you’ve slept in much too long. You have until the count of three to get this door open or so help me I won’t be in there in three shakes of a snake’ssss rattle,” in his nervousness, he slips up and accidentally lies as a defense tactic. “3…….2…….2½…. 2¼….1!” He busts the door open with a bang and is met to a void, nothing there except a floating letter suspended in mid air. His heart drops through his ribs and into his stomach as he picks up the letter and desperately tears it open. Please please, don't’ confirm that his greatest fear has come true, please. 

She breaks down and cries to her husband, Daddy our baby’s gone

“REMUS!”  
There’s a quick skittering and a thump from downstairs as Remus bolts up the stairs. That’s a voice he has never heard of Jan before, and if he’s scared of one thing besides baths and needles, it was certainly that kind of scream. With a smack he runs into Janus and freezes when he sees the tears already streaming down his face, droplets staining the page and mingling with the small purple text. In a shaky breath, Jan begins to read out the letter to him.

“I have to leave you guys now, and I can’t say why. It would hurt you guys so much more to know this, or it might not. This is a really big decision for me of all people to make, but it’s what I have to do. Just know that I’m leaving and I’m never coming back. It’s not your fault, you couldn’t control this.”

As he reads, Remus’s hands start to tremble with an incredible fury, the kind he had never known before. Not even his feelings towards Roman quite matched the terrible amalgamation of sorrow and rage he felt towards Virgil, the side that had been like a brother to him. He couldn’t forgive someone that made their mom weep in the fashion he was right now. Remus hugs Jan tight and his fists clench as he drowns the sobs and wails surrounding them. He doesn’t register that there aren’t just Jan’s tears on his face now, his own mixing in the puddle on his chin. All sound fades around his as only one final though is allowed to permeate in his mind: the emo will pay for this. And he will keep paying until the day Thomas dies.


End file.
